A Place In Time
by Pornell Fangirl
Summary: The highs and lows of Jimmy and Tobias over a decade. Also includes mention of some other couples. Bonus points for anyone who can name the connection between the chapters...
1. Chapter 1

Note:- The characters do not belong to me. Oh but if they did... *evil laugh*

Chapter One - Awaken

Jimmy Palmer had just about had enough of today. As if it wasn't bad enough that the guy he was filling in for had been shot, the terrorist who had shot Gerald Jackson had taken Agent Todd captive. The tension had reached boiling point and although he'd only been there a few weeks, he knew enough to know that he sure as hell didn't want to be around when it blew. Cause when that happened, he knew it would be Agent Gibbs that would go first and boy, he'd blow hard.

Not wanting to take even the smallest risk of being trapped in a confined space like the elevator with a man he found scary enough on a good day Jimmy, decided to take the stairs out to the parking lot.

Lost completely in his own thoughts, he'd reached the 3rd floor when he nearly fell over the stooped figure just sitting there on the cold concrete steps. As he lost his balance a sure hand reached out and steadied him, pulling him into a warm embrace.

Looking down at the smaller but stockier man, the first thing he noticed were red rimmed grey eyes. The second thing he noticed was the haunted look that smouldered through them.

In a matter of moments, he'd taken in the balding silver hair, the pouty lower lip, the prominent scar on his chin and most startlingly... the way his body fit against Jimmy's so perfectly.

"I... I... I'm so sorry!" Jimmy stuttered. "I was lost in my own world. Say... are you ok?"

Sharply, the older man moved away and Jimmy instantly missed the warmth.

"Yeah kid, sorry. Just got a lot on my mind."

Critically giving Jimmy a once over he sighed.  
"Jeez, they're recruiting agents young these days."

"Oh," Jimmy blushed furiously. "I'm not an agent. I'm a med student. I'm interning for Dr Mallard in autopsy. My name's Jimmy. Jimmy Palmer."

Holding out his hand, it took a few minutes for the other man to respond and when he did, Jimmy was surprised by the gentleness of the hand in his own.

"Tobias Fornell."

"You're an agent, Mr Fornell?" Jimmy asked tentatively. He sure hoped so. Working with this guy could be kinda fun.

Fornell chuckled. "Right now, I'm almost ashamed to admit, I'm with the FBI."

The younger man nodded. The thing about being quiet was that he heard a lot more than people assumed.  
"You're the guy Agent Gibbs blames for this terrorist thing."

Fornell blanched. "Yeah. That'd be me. Seems like I really screwed up this time." he bit out, slumping back down onto the steps.

Taking a chance, Jimmy sat next to him on the cold concrete, a little closer than he would with any other man he'd only just met in a stairwell.

Leaning forward a little he rested his elbows on his knees and tried his best not to stare at the FBI agent.

"My grandmother used to say 'There's nothing you can't fix, if it's something you really want to.' Question is, Mr Fornell, do you want to?"

Grey eyes widened as they turned to the young ME's assistant.

"Jesus, kid. Where the hell did you come from?"

Jimmy smiled. "When this is all over, you can buy me a coffee and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

A second later, his brain caught up with his mouth and he buried his head in his hands.  
"Sorry. God, that was so presumptuous of me! I mean... why would you... with me... I just... sorry!"

A hand gripped his shoulder as another gently tilted his chin. Suddenly he was looking into much happier eyes.

"Make it a beer and only on the condition you call me Tobias."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two - Presumed Dead

Summary:- Nobody thought to tell Jimmy

Fornell stood in the small kitchen of the tiny apartment, wracking his brain for anything he could say to make this situation ok again or even just a little better. Only one thing came to mind and even that he knew would make very little difference. Still he had to try.

"I'm so sorry, Jimmy."

The younger man was so still, Fornell wasn't sure at first that he'd heard him. His face was as white as a sheet, his eyes red rimmed behind his glasses, tear stains on his cheeks, clothes rumpled and the glass of cognac in his hand being held in a death grip.

Suddenly the haze cleared from Palmer's eyes, the glass dropped to the floor and Fornell found himself with an armful of sobbing autopsy assistant.

Wrapping his arms around the younger man, one hand found it's way to his head, calmingly stroking through the sandy curls of his hair as he whispered soothing words in his ear.

"I thought you were dead!" Jimmy sobbed. "They told me you were dead! God! They didn't even tell me! They just talked about it. Right there in front of me like I didn't matter. Cause they don't even know that I do. Hell, even I don't even know."

Interrupting his young friend before he could carry on rambling, Fornell took hold of both sides of his face and stared into hazel eyes, trying to ignore the way his stomach flipped as it had since the moment they met.

"You matter, Jimmy! God, you matter more than I think you know. Seems I'm screwing up over and over again lately. But you have to know, I never meant to screw up with you. It all happened so quickly and I know it's no excuse but I should've made sure Jethro told you. You deserved that much from me."

Jimmy's eyes widened as the sparks of electricity between the two men grew to almost more than he could stand.

"What exactly do I mean to you, Tobias? Please tell me that I'm not imagining this. Us."

Fornell's eyes moistened as he felt his heart clench at the sight of the mixed emotions in Jimmy's eyes. Fear, uncertainty... hope.

Softly he pulled the younger man's head down. Using one hand he removed the glasses as the other stroked away the tears.

Placing a gentle kiss on one eyelid, he murmured, "happiness". A kiss to the other eye, "peace". The tip of his nose, "a future". Finally a soft chaste kiss to the full, plump lips. "You mean home, Jimmy"

His heart stopped as he waited for a reaction. Fortunately it was the one he was looking for as the chaste kiss became deeper and more urgent.

Searching for his moment, as soon as Jimmy opened his mouth slightly to moan from somewhere deep in the back of his throat, Fornell took the opportunity to explore that sweet cavern with his tongue.

If he hadn't been addicted before, he sure as hell was now. Tobias Fornell had tasted heaven and there was no way he would ever risk losing it again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three - Basement

Summary:- Gibbs and Fornell talk. Fornell frets and Gibbs is glib.

Fornell sighed as he took off his coat and threw it over the bare ribs of Gibbs' half built boat.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. They'd rehashed the argument twelve ways til Sunday and (grudgingly) he'd agreed that the suicide of Jessica Smith wasn't Fornell's fault.

Yeah, he still wasn't happy that the FBI were investigating embezzlement from the US Navy, but that was something for Tom Morrow and the current asinine director of the FBI to sort out between them.

Finally giving in to the obvious 'there's something else we need to talk about' look on his friend's face, he stopped sanding long enough to pour out two measures of bourbon, a clear sign that business was done and it was time for Fornell to talk.

After waiting what felt like hours for the FBI agent to get on with it, he eventually bit the bullet and started the conversation himself.

"So what's Diane done now?"

A low chuckle was all the answer he received until Fornell had finished off his drink and poured himself another.

"Diane hasn't done anything... yet."

Mulling over the exact phrasing of that statement, Gibbs decided he was going to have to push a little more.

"Well if she hasn't done anything yet, that means you're expecting her to do something."

Fornell seemed to think about that for a while.

"I'm seeing someone, Jethro and it's pretty serious. I really want to introduce this person to Emily, but I won't expect her to lie and this is way too big to keep from her mother."

Shaking his head with a mirthless chuckle, Gibbs question on.

"So what's the problem? You don't think Diane's been celibate since the divorce do you? Or even before it really. She surely can't expect you to be."

"That's not exactly the problem. This person I'm seeing... Well let's just say, Diane wouldn't approve and she may try to screw with the custody arrangement."

Fornell swallowed down his second drink and instantly refilled his mug. Gibbs watched on passively. He'd known after the first drink disappeared so quickly he'd have an overnight guest on his couch.

"What the hell can be so wrong with this woman that Diane would try to do that? She knows how close you and Emily are."

Fornell took a deep breath, looking resolutely down at the floor.

"It's not a woman, Jethro. And it's not a woman more than half my age."

For the first time in as long as he could remember, Gibbs was lost for words. If the situation weren't so serious, Fornell would've laughed at the expression on his friend's face.

"Jethro?"

No reply.

"Jethro?"

Still nothing.

"DAMMIT JETHRO! WILL YOU PLEASE SAY SOMETHING!"

Gibbs answer wasn't at all what Fornell expected as he tilted his head to one side.

"How the hell did YOU manage to lure a twink?"

Choking on his drink in disbelief, Fornell gaped.

"He's hardly a 'twink', Jethro! He's 24 and he's in medical school."

Gibbs shrugged his shoulders, still amused.

"Fine. So he isn't a twink. But how did you meet a 24 year old med student? You never do anything but work and spend time with Emily."

A light blush crept up Fornell's face as he looked anywhere but at his best friend.

"I kinda met him at work. Your work."

Wracking his brain, Gibbs' jaw almost hit the floor as he finally put two and two together.

"Holy crap!" he finally muttered.

"Well fine. Diane won't be a problem. If she is, I still have a few skeletons from her closet I can use. But if you're really serious about this... I swear to God, Tobias... you're telling Ducky!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four - Before the Dawn

Summary:- Coping in the aftermath of tragedy.

Tobias sucked in another deep breath and pulled his still shivering lover just a little bit closer. He hadn't been there, hadn't even been close at the time but the image of the spunky ex-Secret Service turned NCIS agent lying on a cold roof, a bullet hole in her forehead was there every time he closed his eyes.

He knew Jethro no longer blamed him, he was after all too busy blaming himself, but no amount of comforting words could make him feel any better.

Kate Todd was dead and he'd had a hand in allowing her murderer to get close enough to commit the act. It made no difference that he'd been following orders from way above his pay grade or that there'd been no proof of his intentions. As far as Tobias was concerned, he may as well have pulled the trigger himself.

Jimmy sniffled a little as he turned his head where it lay on Tobias' lap to look up at him.

"You've got to stop this, Toby." he muttered softly. "You made a mistake. An honest to God mistake. But beating yourself up over it like this isn't going to help anyone."

Biting back the sarcastic reply on the tip of his tongue, he took a moment to remember that not only was Jimmy just trying to help but the loss he suffered was actually much greater than his own.

Running his hand through Jimmy's soft curls, he took comfort from the sensation.

"I just wish I knew what to do to make this right."

A second later Jimmy was up and straddling his lap, hands gently cupping his face and red-rimmed, serious hazel eyes staring into his own.

"I have a plan. I think it'll work. Do you trust me?"

Tobias tilted his head as a small smile graced his lips.

"More than anything. So tell me this amazing plan of yours."

Leaning forward, Jimmy pressed a light kiss to Tobias' lips.

"First... you take me to bed and we spend an hour or two helping each other forget."

Another feather soft kiss butterflied across his lips.

"Then you sleep until morning because I've exhausted you."

Tobias quirked an eyebrow as the third kiss coincided with stirrings he almost felt guilty about feeling.

"And then..." Jimmy's expression turned serious once again. "You wake up in the morning refreshed and awake and you go to work and hunt down that bastard that killed Kate!"

Releasing the growl that had been building up inside him, Tobias lifted himself to his feet, catching Jimmy around the waist to stop him from falling flat on his ass. He didn't give the younger man time to gain his equilibrium as he pulled him to his bedroom.

The soft growl turned into a deep moan as he found himself roughly pressed against the wall, Jimmy's unsteady fingers having him halfway undressed already and his eager lips devouring every piece of skin he could reach.

This was not going to be the night for slow explorations and gentle lovemaking but both men were more than alright with that as their focus decreased until it was just heavy breaths, skin upon skin and burning need to take comfort in one another.

For those hours he spent entangled in firm muscle, long limbs and the delicious heat of Jimmy's willing body, he had a sense of hope.

In the hours before the dawn he reached the conclusion that eventually everything would be alright, because while NCIS was still a target, Jimmy was in danger and that, to Tobias Fornell, was unacceptable.

Tomorrow morning, he was going to help his best friend find Ari Haswari and may the bastard rot in hell!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five - Rule Number 3

Summary:- Breaking rule number three gives Jimmy the opportunity to talk to his mentor.

"I just don't understand it, Dr Mallard," Jimmy was flustered. "I've looked everywhere I can think of. I guess I'll have to requisition a new one from HR tomorrow. I promise it won't happen again."

Ducky sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose above his glasses.

"I quite understand, Mr Palmer. It is somewhat unlike you to lose your cellphone. I apologise if I came across quite harsh with you over the last couple of days. I can only surmise that my concern for Anthony and Ziva rather clouded my better judgement. Perhaps you will allow me to make amends in some small way. I shall slip into my office and make us both a spot of tea while we finish this ."

The elderly ME was rewarded by one of his assistant's rare genuine smiles.

"You don't have to do that, Doctor. As much as I appreciate the thought. But you were right. I did lose my cellphone. I deserve this."

Ducky couldn't help but return the smile.

"Nonsense my dear boy. Besides, four hands will make this go so much more quickly. And I suspect, Mr Palmer, that recently you have found somewhere much better to be."

At the stricken look that instantly crossed Jimmy's face, he rushed to carry on.

"Not that I would pry into such matters you understand. Although I am sure you don't need reminding that my door is always open, figuratively, so to speak, should you require a friendly ear."

The smile was back on the younger man's face and much as it was dimmer than it began, it was no less genuine.

"Thank you, Doctor."

With a backward look at his assistant, Ducky headed to his office and his bountiful supply of tea.

*

The two men worked together in near silence for another hour and a half before it was disturbed by Jimmy's tentative voice.

"Dr Mallard?"

Ducky paused in his counting of sterile swabs and turned to face the younger man who was sitting cross legged on the floor.

"Mr Palmer?"

"I erm..." Jimmy stammered. "I've fallen in love. But I'm just not sure how my friends and family are going to take it."

Ducky looked startled for a moment but covered it well.

"My dear boy. If the happiness I have noticed radiating from you these past few months has any connection to your new relationship, I cannot see how anyone would be anything other than happy for you."

Leaning in conspiratorially, he smiled tenderly at his mentee.

"I know I am."

Jimmy lowered his head shyly as he carried on.

"But it's not a traditional relationship, Dr Mallard. You see..." he took a deep breath and looked his employer and teacher straight in the eye. "You see... I've fallen in love with another man. One who is more than twice my age."

A relieved sigh left Ducky's lips and he took off his eye glasses to wipe at them.

"Is that all, Mr Palmer? For a moment there you had me worried! Pray, do I know this gentleman?"

A light blush dusted Jimmy's cheeks.

"Well yes. It's Tobias. Tobias Fornell."

The only reaction Ducky showed was a shallow gasp and a slight widening of his eyes.

"Please understand, Mr Palmer, I must ask you this question... Does Agent Fornell feel the same way?"

Jimmy's smile turned positively angelic.

"He says he does and he's given me no reason not to believe him."

Throwing the clipboard he was clutching onto his desk, Ducky stood up.

"Well then Mr Palmer, I'd venture to say, it matters not at all what anyone else may think. True love is hard enough to find as it is."

Taking a look around, he headed to the coat rack by the door.

"Now I say we pick this up tomorrow. I'm sure Agent Fornell has also had a rough two days dealing with Jethro and could use your company. As for me, if I do not return home soon, Gerald is sure to send out a search party. Have I told you about Gerald, my partner of several years now? You see he's quite a bit younger than me..."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six - And Day Turns To Night

Summary:- Awkward moments and the beginnings of new friendships.

Jimmy had worked at NCIS for nearly two years now and he was at the point where he thought nothing could shock him anymore.

That was until he walked into his apartment that night and found his lover sitting at his breakfast bar with none other than Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Of course, he'd known on an intellectual level that the two men were friends but seeing it in glorious technicolor in his own small kitchen no less, was something entirely different.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself before either noticed his presence, he let it out slowly as he made his way toward them.

A spark of something deep inside him brightened as Tobias' eyes lit up upon seeing him.

"Hey baby," he murmured as his lover pulled him into a welcoming embrace. Politely nodding at their guest, he valiantly kept his voice from shaking as he greeted him too.

"Agent Gibbs."

"Palmer." Gibbs nodded to him as he picked up the half empty bottle of beer from the counter.

Inhaling deeply, he took in the exciting aroma of eggplant lasagna emanating from the stove. Tobias often cooked one of his favorite meals if he'd had late night classes after a full day at work.

Trying desperately not to let the awkward atmosphere linger, Jimmy shucked off his jacket before opening the fridge and offering fresh beers all round.

When Gibbs took one with a smile, he took the opportunity to ask the question weighing heavily on his mind.

"Have you heard from Tony? How's he doing?"

You could've picked him off the floor when Gibbs laughed, actually belly laughed before answering.

"Spoke to him about half an hour ago. Think he's more disturbed by Ziva driving him home and attempting to cook for him. He managed to dissuade her though... for now."

Jimmy chuckled at the image that conjured up.

"I'm more worried about Abby. She's sent me at least five texts while I was in class. Trying to come up with some way to 'make it up to him'. Like if it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't still be spending quality time with Toby."

Gibbs grimaced. "I'll call her later, calm her down. Thanks for the heads up."

A wicked glint appeared in his eyes.

"Your boy-toy's a genius... Toby!"

Two flushed faces stared back at him as twin voices, one a squeak, the other a growl made him smirk evilly.

"Boy-toy?!"  
"Jethro!"

Tobias was the first to recover.

"Are you staying for dinner?"

Swallowing down his remaining beer, Gibbs shook his head.

"Naw. Should be heading home. Knowing DiNozzo, he'll be turning up in my basement sometime soon. Better have the pizza ordered and the bourbon poured before he gets there."

After seeing him out, Jimmy and Tobias settled on the couch with their dinner and fresh beers. Eating slowly and savoring his lover's culinary skills, Jimmy pondered out loud.

"You think those two are ever gonna get their acts together?"

Tobias grinned around his beer.

"With those two... who knows? But if they don't do it soon, I'm thinking they may need a nudge in the right direction."

Sighing, he put his half eaten meal on the coffee table in front of him.

"I'd never tell them but I was watching when Jethro visited Tony in the lock up. Tony had a total melt down. He ranted and raved for a good twenty minutes and all the time Jethro stood there, saying nothing. When he was done, Jethro just beckoned him over and tapped his chin. Kid just calmed down. Instantly. With that one touch. Never seen anything like it."

Placing his own mostly finished plate next to his lover's, with one move of his hips, Jimmy was straddling Tobias' lap.

Running his hands over the older man's toned shoulders and arms, a soft smile graced his lips.

"You know, it's been a long day, we both have to be at work early in the morning and we're sitting here discussing our friend's love lives. You see something wrong with this picture?"

Moaning under Jimmy's gentle ministrations, Tobias pulled him closer. Seizing his lips, his moan turned to a whimper.

Pulling back, he looked straight into Jimmy's lust filled eyes.

"You're right. I think it's time for bed."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven - Tensions

Summary:- Maybe not everything is as rosy as it appears. Jimmy's had enough.

**WARNING- This chapter contains a scene of violent dub-con. Please don't read if this may upset you.**

Letting himself into the dark bedroom, every muscle in Jimmy's body tensed in sympathy for his lover. The last couple of days had been beyond anything Jimmy had ever experienced and he couldn't imagine how Tobias was coping.

He'd wanted to be here sooner, of course he had, but when Tony had cornered him, fraught and anxious as to what exactly Gibbs' return meant, he'd been unable to get away.

A great deal of his guilt was lessened shortly after when he recieved a text from Tobias, asking him to stay away until at least 9pm. So he'd dragged his best friend out for a beer and allayed his fears to the best of his ability.

Now, however he was faced with the gnawing feeling in his gut that nearly two and a half years into their relationship, he still had yet to be introduced to his lover's daughter.

Shaking off his doubts for the time being, he padded over to the bed and perched himself gently on the edge trying not to wake the exhausted man. It seemed however that this was not to be the case.

"Jimmy?" the muffled voice drifted up to him.

Reaching out he ran a hand gently over Tobias' arm.

"Yeah, baby. Go back to sleep."

"S'ok. I'm awake now." Tobias yawned, belying his own words. "Wanted to stay awake til you got here. Sorry."

"I don't mind really," Jimmy protested. "I'll just make myself quick snack and come back up in a bit."

Rolling over, Tobias clicked on the lamp at the side of the bed, the dull glow illuminating the worry lines and dark blue bruise like circles under his eyes. Jimmy was surprised to see he was still fully dressed.

"There's dinner in the crock pot. I honestly didn't mean to fall asleep. I only came up here to get changed after Emily left with Diane, so I haven't eaten myself. Come on. We'll go grab a bite together."

The smile that had been growing on Jimmy's face dulled a little at the mention of his lover's little girl as he was reminded of his earlier feelings on the subject.

Pausing at the door, Tobias turned back to look at him and for once Jimmy regretted that although physically and emotionally exhausted, his lover was still an experienced FBI agent and able to read every nuance on his face.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a calloused hand carressing his face. He tried to make his smile brighten again and he certainly had no intention of saying anything, at least not tonight, so he quickly stood up, pressing a kiss to Tobias' cheek and taking his hand, leading him from the bedroom.

For the first time in their relationship, dinner passed by with awkward silences and stilted conversation. Both men lost in their memories of the last couple of days.

Tobias' voice broke another silence, jerking Jimmy out of his thoughts.

"How's Tony doing?"

Jimmy snorted, taking a large drink from his glass of red wine.

"Well let's see... He and Gibbs finally get it together and decide to talk about this thing between them, then Gibbs goes and gets blown up, loses his memory and skips town leaving Tony with an emotionless 'you'll do'. While he's gone, Tony tries to lead the team and gets back nothing but shit from the whole lot of them, even Dr Mallard. Then Ziva gets into trouble and instead of turning to Tony, she drags Gibbs back from Mexico, something he wouldn't do for Tony even though he called and begged and begged and now it seems he's planning on leaving again. Frankly, I'd say he's about at the end of his tether. How the fuck do you think he's doing?"

He hadn't even realised his voice had raised until he'd finished ranting and saw the raised eyebrow Tobias was gracing him with.

It wasn't that he didn't want to feel remorse at the way he just went off at his lover, he just couldn't. It seemed like every little thing was riling him up since he'd got home from the bar.

That thought made him snort derisively at himself. Home! Yeah, ok he spent more nights at Tobias' place than his own these days, but even that was only on the older man's terms. Never when there was a chance of Emily or Diane finding out about it and certainly not on the days it was Tobias' turn to host poker nights for the guys he worked with.

Excusing himself, he walked into the downstairs bathroom and splashed his face with cold water in an attempt to calm himself down.

He and Tobias had both been under a huge amount of stress recently and he knew that now was not the time to be getting into an aargument when they'd both just end up saying something they'd both regret.

Walking back into the kitchen, the last thing he expected was the glass of wine sailing past his head and the abject fury on Tobias' face.

"What the hell?" he sputtered.

Tobias stalked toward him, holding his cellphone in his hand.

"It rang," he growled. "Thought it might be Dr Mallard and I didn't want a repeat of what happened last time. Turns out it was 'Breena' and she says, I quote, 'hi sweetie, I had a great time tonight, ate we still on for the weekend?' You wanna tell me who the fuck she is and what the FUCK is going on?"

For a moment, Jimmy couldn't decide whether he should be greatly amused or incredibly furious. In the end fury won out by a vast margin.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Toby! You think I'm cheating on you? Are you shitting me?"

Tobias face was bright red as he screamed back, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"No. Of course not. I always expect women you've never even mentioned before to call you to make plans for the weekend and call you pet names!"

Jimmy pushed back getting right in his lover's face.

"I never mentioned her before because I only met her tonight! She's a nice girl who happens to be a mortician. We talked about our jobs for all of an hour after Tony went home and I arranged for her kid brother take a tour of the Navy Yard this Saturday!"

If he was expecting any kind of apology, he was mistaken, instead Tobias just seemed to get angrier.

"And I supposed she called you 'sweetie' cos she's just that kind of girl?"

Jimmy let out an exasperated growl.

"I don't know, Toby! Maybe she is! Why the hell are you overreacting like this? Have I ever given you any reason to think this about me?"

Backing away, he raised his hands in surrender.

"You know what? Maybe you should think that! Maybe I should start thinking that!"

Tobias' face paled.

"And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Jimmy sighed, "at least maybe with a nice girl, I might not be her dirty little secret!"

"Dirty little... What! What?" the older man spluttered.

"You heard me! Two and a half years, Toby. I thought we were going somewhere. That all this meant something. But you won't even introduce me to your colleagues much less your ex-wife and daughter! You know, when she was at the Navy Yard today, Abby showed her around the place and I had to pretend I didn't even know who she was. Do you know how much that hurt? Not to mention the sympathetic glances and whispers from my friends that made me feel all of two inches tall! So yeah. I'm saying I think I'm your dirty little secret and I don't want to be that anymore."

Waiting for any kind of explanation, when none was forthcoming he deflated when the realisation hit him.

"Oh my God! You're ashamed of me, aren't you?"

Struggling to fight back the tears that stung his eyes, he stormed out into the hallway heading toward his coat and shoes.

"You know what, don't answer that! I don't think I even want to know anymore! I've got way too much shit of my own to deal with without having to put up with your crap too!"

He was so lost in his own anger, it was a surprise when a strong arm reached out and Tobias grabbed his arm, propelling him through the living room entryway and shoving him to the couch, where he stumbled before falling on his ass.

His eyes widened in shock as the older man landed on top of him, his lips pressing on Jimmy's own with a hunger and fiery passion he hadn't felt since their first time together. All the frustration, anger and helplessness was burning through hid blood and he found himself battling for dominance but losing badly.

He was lost somewhere between lust, fury and disgust with himself even as Tobias was unzipping both pairs of pants and pulling them down just below their hips. At the first contact of his hard cock on his lover's already pulsing flesh, he whimpered, grinding into the erection sliding against his own.

Gripping Jimmy's hips, Tobias pulled and pushed until the younger man was bent over the back of the couch, the force of the move sending his glasses tumbling to the floor. The sudden blur of his vision sparked him back to reality just enough to struggle in an attempt to get out of Tobias' grip. Instead he hissed in pain as a spit slick finger breached his ass.

Struggling further as it was quickly joined by a second, his legs nearly gave out when Tobias hooked them and pressed insistently into the bundle of nerves deep inside him.

Twisting his body into a wholly unnatural position, Jimmy hooked a hand around the older man's neck and pulled him back in for another deep and bruising kiss.

There was no tenderness between the two men as they used lips tongues and teeth to work out the tension between them.

A low whine escaped Jimmy's throat when Tobias pulled out of him leaving nothing but the worst kind of emptiness in his wake.

The whine was replaced with a growl somewhere between pain and ecstasy as his fingers were almost instantly replaced with the blunt head of his cock.

Tobias wasn't gentle for a second in his need to take and take. Reaching round he wrapped his hand around Jimmy's leaking erection, fisting it roughly in time with his thrusts.

Only a moment later, Jimmy felt the fire rising in his spine and spreading through his body. Clenching around Tobias as he came, dripping through his hand and onto the fabric of the couch.

The clenching of his tight heat had the older man's thrusts becoming erratic and in less than a minute he felt Tobias jerk then still, spilling himself deep inside Jimmy's abused and sore ass.

The air was still thick with tension as Tobias pulled out and sank back onto the floor, gasping for breath.

Without a word, Jimmy stretched out his cramped limbs, standing on shaky legs as he pulled his pants back up, not bothering to clean up the mess.

Stooping down to pick up his glasses, wiping them on his shirt tails before perching them back on his nose. Looking down in disdain at Tobias, still sprawled in front of the coffee table, flaccid cock laying spent on his hip, he shook his head and turned back to the hallway.

"Jimmy?"

Tobias' voice was tentative and full of worry.

"Don't go. Please."

Jimmy shook his head in sorrow.

"I can't stay, Toby."

It came out barely more than a whisper but he still couldn't turn back to face his lover.

"Don't you see? What happened tonight, it's been building for a while now. I'm sorry but I think we need some space. At least, I know I do. Give me some time. I'll call you."

Tobias could do nothing more than watch as Jimmy walked out the door. He just hoped it wouldn't be forever and silently resolved to make sure it wouldn't be.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight - Too Long, Not Enough

Summary:- Tony notices something is up. Can he talk some sense into his friend before it's too late?

Jimmy jumped a little as the beer hit the table in front of him but barely flinched at the Gibbs style head slap that followed it. Rolling his eyes as Tony slid into the booth opposite him he lifted the bottle in greeting.

"Thanks for the beer and all but I didn't realise that a concussion was the price!"

Tony looked him up and down in appraisal.

"You're a dick."

Big hazel eyes widened beneath Jimmy's round glasses as he choked on the mouthful he'd just taken.

"Excuse me?" he spluttered.

"You heard me," Tony went on. "Now all that's left for me to do is get you good and drunk so you can tell me exactly why you're being a dick and then I can make you stop it."

His look softened.

"It's just not you Jimmy and frankly... it's disturbing!"

Leaning back, the younger man cocked an eyebrow at his friend.

"And exactly how am I - as you so eloquently put it - being a dick?"

Pointing his own bottle, Tony lifted his other hand, raising his index finger.

"One. You had a total sissy fit with McGee earlier. Ok, we all ribbed him about his book, but you... you took pissiness to a whole new level."

Jimmy snorted.

"And I suppose you would take it just fine if he'd written Agent Tommy as the sick bastard screwing a corpse?"

Tony seemed to consider this for a moment before his smirk twisted into a grimace and he shuddered.

"Ok, I'll give you that. But... point two. You never come out with us anymore. Even tonight when I wanted to talk to you, I had to find you!"

Jimmy's face darkened.

"I haven't really been the best company lately. Would you rather I came out and dragged the whole team down?"

"Yes!" Tony insisted. "Because we're friends, best friends I thought. And maybe, just maybe I could help you through this bad time. That's what you'd do for me. What you have done for me."

Downing the remainder of his beer, Tony signalled for the waitress to bring another round.

"And finally, point three - the thing that disturbs me most of all..."

At that moment the waitress brought their drinks, smiling a bit too much at a clearly uninterested Tony. All the time she swapped over the drinks and lingered, Jimmy sat patiently, staring intently at the older man.

Eventually they were left alone again and he made a gesture encouraging Tony to spit it out.

"Fine." Tony growled. "Michelle Lee? I mean yeah, she's cute and all, but come on, Jimmy! How long were you and Fornell over before you switched being his dirty secret for being hers?"

Slamming his bottle down on the table, Jimmy winced.

"How the fuck did you know about that?"

Tony sighed.

"You work in a building full of investigators. What confuses me is how in the hell no one else knows by now."

Jaw clenching and eyes looking everywhere but at the man opposite him, Jimmy dwelled on his answer for a minute before giving in.

"It's easy with Michelle. She doesn't expect anything from me and I don't expect anything from her. It started a couple of weeks after me and... and Toby... when I told him we couldn't go on the way we were. The first time, well it just happened. Angry sex. Not like that last time with Toby, it was just... convenient."

"And you don't think this is a mistake?" Tony pressed. "How are you gonna feel about yourself when you and Fornell make it up, huh?"

Jimmy shook his head sadly.

"We're not gonna make it up, Tony. We're over. Done. I'm not gonna lie and tell you it doesn't break my heart, but that's the way it has to be. For what it's worth, I am sorry for the way I've been acting and I'll try to do better."

Clinking his bottle against Jimmy's, Tony nodded once. Although he still didn't believe it, he decided to give Jimmy the benefit of the doubt.

"Ok. But this shit with Lee stops now. And you come talk to me if you need to."

For the first time in months, Jimmy felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. He wasn't ready to promise anything but he felt better knowing Tony was there to fight his corner.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine - Conspiracy In Theory

Summary:- Gibbs has dinner at the Fornell house and Emily is nine, not stupid!

"Uncle Jethro!"

Gibbs grinned as the young girl threw her arms around his waist. He was pretty sure he couldn't love this kid more if she were his own. Shaking off the unpleasant emotions these thoughts brought on, he tuned back into her babbling.

"...but I think it's time he started dating again. I mean Mom goes out on dates, but Daddy... I've never even heard him mention anyone and that's just wrong, isn't it, Uncle Jethro? He's not that old!"

He had to stifle his laughter when his best friend made a sudden appearance in his kitchen doorway.

"Emily Fornell! Will you please let this subject go? And let Jethro actually get in the house before you start annoying him!"

Pouting as only a nine year old girl (and Abby) can, Emily let go of Giibs and turned to her father.

"Sorry, Daddy. But you know I'm right."

Rubbing a hand over his mouth, Fornell bit back whatever snarky retort was about to cross his lips and pointed to the stairs.

"Just go wash up for dinner while Jethro and I talk about the grown up stuff, ok?"

With one last radiant smile at her favourite uncle, the little blonde horror sped away upstairs.

Allowing his natural smirk to spread on his lips as he watched her go, Gibbs couldn't help tease his friend.

"She thinks you're... what? A monk? Celibate? Tell me how in the name of all that's holy, you managed to have a serious, committed relationship for over two years without her finding out?"

All traces of humour left Fornell's face as Gibbs followed him back into the kitchen and he roughly thrust a bottle of beer into his hand.

"We're not talking about that, Jethro. Do you understand?" his voice took on a sharp tone Gibbs had never heard before. "From now on, we do not talk about that again. Not here, not at the bar and not in your basement."

Eyes widening in surprise, Gibbs threw his hands up in mock surrender.

"Fine. Fine." he calmed. "I think you made the biggest mistake of your life. Worse than marrying Diane. But those are the last words you'll hear from me on the subject unless you decide otherwise."

Nodding once. Fornell turned back to whatever he was stirring on the stove before Gibbs had arrived.

"So when you came by this morning, to Diane's... my information help any?"

Gibbs sighed.

"Not sure yet. There's still a lot I need to find out. I assume I can count on you to pass along any information you hear though?"

Fornell shrugged.

"If I hear anything, you'll know it but I'm not exactly being kept in the loop myself with this one."

Opening his mouth to reply, Gibbs was interrupted by the return of the exuberant little girl.

Dinner passed by the way it did every month, Emily chattering on at a mile a minute about things neither older man could claim to understand while the two adults nodded in all the appropriate places.

Once her plate was clean, she turned bigblue eyes on her favourite uncle.

"Will you read me a story? Please?"

Gibbs readily agreed, having brought along his reading glasses for this wholly expected turn of events.

"You go on up and get ready for bed, I'll be up in a minute."

After helping Fornell store the leftovers and load the dishwasher, he was sent on his way with an amused grin.

When he reached Emily's bedroom, he was surprised not to find her in bed, book on her lap as she had been every 4th Saturday for as many years as he could remember. Instead, she was sitting on her window seat, a stuffed bear in one hand and a photograph in the other.

"Hey, Em." he called softly from her doorway. "What're you doing still up? You should be in your bed."

Turning sad eyes up at him, Emily clutched the bear a little tighter.

"I wanted to talk to you, Uncle Jethro. It's about Daddy."

Concern flashed through Gibbs' eyes although he did his best not to let the little girl see it.

"What about him, Em? Is everything ok? He seems alright to me."

Rolling her eyes the blonde turned to face him.

"Then you're blind, Uncle Jethro! He's been miserable since he broke up with Jimmy!"

For the first time in his life, Gibbs was stunned completely speechless. He couldn't even get his brain to contemplate what he'd just been told by the nine year old. Slowly he sat down on the window seat next to her.

"What... what... but..." he stuttered.

"Uncle Jethro!" Emily groaned. "I'm nine, not stupid! I found this."

Reaching out his hand, Gibbs took the photograph Emily was holding out to him. It was a candid shot he'd taken himself on his own porch steps. Jimmy Palmer was sitting between Tobias' legs, leaning back into him and laughing at something he'd said. The look of adoration on Tobias' face was only matched by hid radient smile. Smiling himself as he remembered that day, he handed the photograph back to Emily.

"How long have you known?"

The little girl grinned knowingly.

"Since I found this photograph a couple of years ago. Daddy used to talk about all the things your team got up to back then but I never figured it out until the day I got that tour from Abby."

Pulling her into a hug, Gibbs pressed a kiss to the top of Emily's head.

"You're too smart for your own good, you know."

The young girl giggled quickly before turning her serious eyes back to him.

"Then a week or so after that day, I found this in the trash. It took me a while to figure it out, but Daddy hasn't smiled the same since. Could you talk to him, Uncle Jethro? Please?"

"Oh, Em." Gibbs sighed. "I've tried, believe me. Even tonight while you were getting washed up for dinner. He won't listen to me and I've promised I won't bring it up again."

Emily thought for a minute.

"Did Jimmy love Daddy too?"

Gibbs nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, he did, Em. Very much. Very much indeed. Still does I think."

A wicked grin spread over the angelic blonde's face.

"Well it's a good thing I didn't promise anything then. Isn't it?"

Gibbs couldn't help but laugh at the determination in the little girl's expression.

Leaning in, he whispered.

"And I never said a thing about not talking to Jimmy."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten - Home Truths

Summary:- Jimmy recieved an unexpected visitor.

Sitting alone in the near dark of his tiny living room, the only light coming from a few candles he'd lit and the glow from his laptop screen, currently displaying and lowly playing a soft jazz station, Jimmy Palmer sipped on the tumbler of Glenfiddich from the bottle Dr Mallard had brought him back from his last trip to visit his remaining family in Scotland.

He'd just started in on his third drink of the night, thinking back on the circle of hell that the day had been. By the end of it, he had seriously considered handing in his resignation.

Today wasn't the first time since the break-up that NCIS and the FBI had worked closely on a case, not even the first time Toby, and damn if even the thought of the man didn't nearly bring him to tears, had worked with them. But this was the first time he'd spent so long at the Navy Yard.

They must have passed in the corridors at least a dozen times during the course of the day and every tiny little glance in his direction had burned his soul just a little more.

It had been a little over a year now since they'd gone their separate ways. A year in which Jimmy had thrown himself into a new relationship, if he could call it that and in which he'd dove head first into his work. Anything to try and fill that hole in his heart left by the older man. He'd given up counting the nights he'd sat here in the dark doing just this. Rehashing that last night together.

If only he hadn't taken it quite so much to heart that Toby hadn't introduced him to Emily or his friends. If only that hadn't been the day that his lover's little girl had been threatened, when Jimmy's nerves were already frayed so close to the edge. If only that hadn't been the day that Tony had so desperately needed a friend to talk to. If only he hadn't met that sweet girl, Breena at the bar that night, although he was sure he'd never regret her friendship. She'd become a rock to him over the year. If only Gibbs hadn't come back. Or left at all... although he realised that thought was selfish even as he thought it. If only, if only, if only. But as his Grandma used to say, 'I wishes were horses.'

He was so deep in his thoughts, he didn't hear the knocking at his door until it became quite persistent. Stumbling over, still revelently sober considering his usual tolerance for alcohol but weary down to his bones, he opened the door but could do little more than stand there un shock, staring at his unexpected visitor.

Gibbs stood there patiently -for him- for a whole minute as Jimmy stared at him. Eventually he realised the younger man wasn't going to speak or move, so the first step had to be his.

"Hey, Palmer. You gonna let me in or are we gonna stand here all night?"

Jimmy blinked owlishly behind his glasses while his brain pulled itself out of it's stupor, stepping aside and gesturing for the older man to come in.

Following him into the living room, he watched in silence as Gibbs made himself comfortable on his couch and picked up the whisky bottle, peering at the label in the dim light.

Clicking on a couple of floor lamps, Jimmy finally found his voice.

"Would you like a glass?"

When Gibbs nodded the affirmative, he took a tumbler from the cabinet by his tv. Filling the crystal and handing it to his visitor, he took a seat in his overstuffed armchair.

"What can I do for you, Agent Gibbs?"

Blue eyes regarded him over the rim of a glass.

"I need your help." he eventually answered. It was stated matter of fact, no hint of excuse or apology in his tone.

Jimmy couldn't help the way his eyes narrowed suspiciously. It had been over 18 months since the two men had had anything close to a real conversation, even longer since Gibbs had been in his home. But looking deeply at his face, he could see no sign of anything but honesty.

"Ok," he replied slowly, "What can I help you with, Agent Gibbs?"

The formality of the way Palmer was addressing him wasn't lost on Gibbs and he couldn't help the wince he didn't want to feel crossing his face.

Sighing he put his glass down on the table and leaned forward, elbows on his knees.

"My memory... those last few years before the explosion... I do a good job of pretending, Jimmy but between you and me... there's still gaps there and I think you can help me with those."

The younger man couldn't help but be surprised at the naked vulnerability seeping through every pore of the silver haired man. But he couldn't deny his confusion.

"Why me?" he eventually asked.

Gibbs' eyes darted around the room that at once seemed so familiar and yet so foreign to him.

"We were starting to be friends, weren't we?" he answered the question with a question. "You'd started calling me Jethro. Here and at my place and at... at Tobias'. I remember that. Only snippets of it, I don't always get the full picture but I remember that."

Jimmy nodded slowly. Valiantly keeping the memories of those times from bringing tears to his eyes.

"Yeah. Yeah we were. You're Toby's best friend. We spent a lot of time together. We became quite close."

Surprising himself, he carried on. For some reason he just knew that Gibbs needed nothing but honesty from him.

"After you came back, you didn't remember that so I gave you your space. Then Toby and I... well I'm sure you know what happened there, and you carried on treating me the way you used to... before. So I let you. I figured you needed to or something. And even if you didn't, being around you hurts. I'll be honest. It reminds me of those days when things were good. That's why I never said anything."

To his credit, Gibbs picked up his drink and sipped at it for a few minutes, mulling over everything Jimmy had said. When he finally spoke, his tone was measured and his voice steadier than his face belied.

"I'd like our friendship back, Jimmy. If you think we can. I have to tell you, firstly, I've told Tobias I think he's an idiot. But I promised him I'd stop pestering him about it."

Sharing a conspiratorially smile with the younger man, he winked.

"Doesn't mean Emily's gonna give up so easily though."

Jimmy's heart skipped a beat.

"Emily? Emily Fornell? What exactly does she know?"

Gibbs' smile turned a little sad. His memory might not be great but he knew what he was about to tell the younger man would hurt him. Still, if he was going to attempt to rebuild this tentative friendship, he knew that the honesty would have to go both ways.

"She's known nearly all along, Jimmy. She found a photograph I took of the two of you and after the break-up, she noticed Tobias has been miserable. She's kinda smart for her age."

The dull ache that had receded into the pit of Jimmy's stomach returned almost tenfold with this piece of information. The reason the relationship had broken down in the first place had been a moot point after all. Of course he wasn't so stupid as to think the Emily issue had been the entire cause of the relationship ending but it had been the straw that had broken the camel's back.

Gibbs reached out and without waiting for permission, refilled both their glasses. He hadn't wanted to hurt or upset the younger man but he knew what had been the trouble in the end and he at least hoped to give the younger man something to think about. After a few minutes had passed, he brought Jimmy out of his thoughts.

"Look, Jimmy... The other thing I wanted to talk about... This is kinda embarrassing... Before the explosion, I think I was becoming involved with someone. But I cant trust my brain's not playing tricks on me. I would've asked Tobias, but he's up to his neck in work right now. Hasn't been home in days. And I would've asked DiNozzo but... and please, God, I could be so wrong about this... it was him, wasn't it? DiNozzo. Tony. There was something there. I'm not imagining it or remembering it wrong, am I?"

Lifting his glasses and running a hand over his face, Jimmy stretched out and relaxed, ready to tell Gibbs all he needed to know. Whether he wanted to hear it or not.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven - Interlude

Summary:- Toby is not a happy bunny. Not a happy bunny at all!

Gibbs grimaced as the elevator dinged and it's doors opened to reveal an irate FBI agent. He'd been prepared for the upcoming confrontation but not the time or place. In fact, just that morning he'd taken a brand new bottle of bourbon down to the basement.

Standing quickly from his desk, he fully intended to direct Fornell back to his 'conference' room but before he could even open his mouth, the man was ranting.

"A crime scene that wasn't cleared and an autopsy assistant out in the field at an arrest? What the hell Gibbs? Those are fuck ups I wouldn't let a probie on my team get away with! And you and your team sit there on an almost weekly basis telling me how much better than the FBI NCIS is! He could've been killed! And why? Because a case couldn't wait a meagre half hour to make sure the scene was safe! God knows had it been Ducky that was shot at, we'd have seen the explosion from over at the Hoover Building! But of course it was only the lowly Mr Palmer, not even really one of the team, is he? If he was, maybe you'd at least have noticed he followed you to the arrest!"

Fornell's volume was as large as the rest of Gibbs' team's eyes by the time his rant seemed to come to a close and they waited with bated breath for the boss to react. But it wasn't the icy tones of Gibbs that were heard in the almost deafening silence of the bullpen.

"You're a day late in keeping up with the inter-agency gossip, Agent Fornell. And about two years too late for needing to concern yourself with my private or professional affairs."

Ziva and McGee shared a puzzled look as Tony groaned, Gibbs sank further into his chair and Fornell visibly paled at Palmer's measured words.

Stepping fully into the area and pointedly ignoring his former lover, even though his heart still pounded just from being in the same room with him, the younger man handed a file folder to Gibbs.

"My statement, Agent Gibbs."

Seeing Palmer was lingering, Gibbs turned his blue eyed gaze directly to his younger friend's face.

"How're you getting home, Jimmy?" he asked softly.

Losing his momentary calm, Palmer nervously glanced around the bullpen.

"Erm... Well Tony left his car at my place last night. I was gonna drive him home when he was done so he could pick it up. I guess we'll get a cab though."

Running a hand over his face, Gibbs knew he was going to regret his next statement, even before it was fully formed in his own mind. Standing up from his desk he grabbed his jacket.

"Tony. Pack it up for the night. Jimmy, go get your stuff and meet us in the parking lot. I'm driving you home tonight."

Turning his attention to his oldest friend, he lowered his voice.

"Give it a couple of hours, Tobias. I've got a bottle of the good stuff in my basement with your name in it.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve - Move Along

Summary:- Our boys get some closure... for now.

"I shouldn't be here."

Jimmy was nervously fidgeting at Tobias' front door as the older man stood staring incredulously.

"So why are you?"

Dammit! He didn't mean that to come out as harshly as it sounded.

His young ex-lover flushed deeply.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come." he muttered as he turned to leave.

Tobias grimaced. Reaching out, he gently grabbed Jimmy's arm.

"No. I'm sorry, Jimmy. I've had a crappy day and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You wanna come in? I have that green tea you like."

Nodding shyly, Jimmy stepped past the older man and into the house that held so many memories, both good and bad.

Seated at the kitchen table while Tobias boiled the kettle, Jimmy answered the question he'd been asked in the first place.

"Jethro told me what happened today. I wanted... I needed to make sure you were ok."

Placing a mug in front of his guest with a shaky hand, Tobias sat in the chair next to him.

"Well the director chewed me out some but not so bad. I guess he understands really. Maybe would've done all the same things in my place."

Pausing to sip his tea, he casually gave the younger man a once over. He looked good but obviously something was gnawing at him.

"Why now Jimmy?" he asked softly. "I honestly never expected you to come back here. Especially after the last time we saw each other."

Jimmy laughed lightly.

"I guess I figured that if you could rip into Jethro so publicly in my defense, the least I could do was check up on you after a shitty day. We were friends once."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Tobias stared down into his mug.

"We could be more again, Jimmy. If you'd let me, I could at least try to make everything right again."

Smiling sadly, Jimmy shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Toby. It's too late now. Maybe if you'd offered me that even a few months ago. And I'm not saying it's all down to you. I could've been less stubborn on the issue too. And..." he drifted off sheepishly, "I've moved on now."

Part of Tobias wanted to get angry at that bit of information. How could Jimmy have moved on when he was still the only thing that occupied his own thoughts on the long lonely nights he didn't have Emily. But he realised with sadness, Jimmy was right. He could've made this right at the very beginning and it had been nothing but his own cowardice holding him back. Looking up at the younger man, he offered a watery smile.

"At least tell me you're happy. You deserve that and I'm sorry I couldn't get my head out of my ass long enough to give you it."

Jimmy returned the smile tightly.

"I'm getting there, Toby. I'm getting there."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen - Learning To Live Again

Summary:- A team night out leads to introductions.

Tony leaned on the door, looking into autopsy.

"Hey, Ducky, Jimmy. We're heading out for a beer after work. Even Je-Gibbs is joining us. Wanna come with?"

Ducky looked over in fond amusement while subtly ignoring Tony's near slip.

"I think tonight we could all use a little liquid refreshment. Especially Jethro after surviving that awful blast. I must say, it was far too close for comfort. Not to mention young Timothy. From what little information I've been able to gather regarding his situation with the young lady, I'd imagine he could also use the time among his friends."

Pasting a fake look of annoyance on his face when he realised his two younger friends had somewhat zoned out during his observations, he turned to his assistant.

"Mr Palmer? Will you be joining us?"

Shaking his head regretfully, Jimmy had to decline.

"As much as I get the need for the team to be together right now, I'm afraid I promised Breena I'd take her out tonight."

A look of adolescent glee crossed Tony's face.

"You should invite her along! It's about time we got to know this girl. Seems you're getting pretty serious about her."

Ducky sighed internally. Jimmy had been with the team long enough now to know what that look meant but judging by that irrepressible beam on his face, he obviously hadn't figured it out yet. Poor Miss Slater was in for an interesting night.

*

Jimmy was sure that neither Ziva nor Abby were purposefully being threatening in their posture as they leaned toward Breena, pressing her for any information they could glean. In a way it made him feel warm inside that they were being so protective of him.

The poor girl had ended up on one side of the booth with the other two ladies. Jimmy sat on the opposite side, sandwiched between Tony - whose look of satisfaction with himself was edging on scary - and Tim - who kept shooting him looks of sympathy.

Jimmy wasn't sure what happened but suddenly Ziva was directing all of Breena's attention toward her while Abby kept glancing nervously between him and the door. It wasn't until the shadow crossed the table that he looked over his shoulder to find Gibbs standing behind him with none other than Tobias Fornell.

He was wearing a short sleeved white shirt with his jacket thrown over his shoulder, the bandaged cuts and scrapes showing his own near escape from the earlier blast.

Jimmy's first instinct was to check the older man over more thoroughly but before he could react, Tony's hand landed on his arm. Looking up at his best friend, he saw that the previous gleam in his eye had been replaced by concern.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy." he whispered. "I didn't know Jethro would be bringing him. I never would've..."

His apology was cut off by a wave of Jimmy's hand.

"It's ok, Tony. Really. It had to happen eventually."

Looking around the table while Gibbs brought over two chairs to place at the end of the booth opposite Ducky, Tobias noticed the beautiful blonde sitting between the two NCIS ladies.

"New agent, Jethro?" he asked with a grin, holding out his hand to shake. "Tobias Fornell, FBI." he introduced himself.

Gracing him with a dazzling smile, Breena accepted the hand offered to her.

"Breena Slater. I'm not an NCIS agent though. I'm Jimmy's girlfriend."

It seemed the blonde was the only one not to notice the minute tightening around Fornell's eyes at the introduction. She wasn't stupid though. She and Jimmy had been friends long before they'd started dating and she knew exactly who Tobias was.

"It's nice to finally put a face to the name." she added sweetly.

The entire table looked on in shock as Fornell's grin widened.

"Same here Ms Slater."

Silently sighing in relief, Jimmy was pleased when the conversation picked up again.

It wasn't until later in the night, when his ex-lover and current girlfriend disappeared to the bar together looking altogether too friendly, that Jimmy started to worry.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen - Messy

Summary:- Is Tobias losing it?

Gibbs' ingrained response was to draw his sidearm when he stepped into his house and the aroma of bolognese sauce permeated his senses.

Shaking his head, he relaxed a little. Tony was out with Abby tonight and although there was no-one else he'd ever expect to be cooking for him, it would take a damn strange assassin to try and kill him this way.

Stepping into the kitchen, he raised a brow at the sight of Tobias wearing an apron - and God only knows where he got that from - standing at his stove, gently stirring something.

Obviously he needed to work on his stealth because without turning around, Tobias held up the wooden spoon he was using.

"Do you think it needs more salt?"

Without skipping a beat, he stepped forward and took the spoon in his mouth.

"Nope. It's good."

Finally looking up to meet his friend's eyes, Gibbs was surprised to find them full of a light he hadn't seen in years. Not since... Oh! His mouth dropped open.

"Jimmy?" he asked hesitantly.

Tobias' grin widened.

"It's not gonna last. Him and the blonde. They've been friends for years, together for months and I know just from talking to her, I've forgotten more about that man than she'll ever know!"

Gibbs took a long look at his friend. There was an almost manic look in his eye. This was only going to end one way. Badly.

"Tobias..." he started, mentally bracing himself for the epic argument he knew was coming but before he could voice his opinion, he was cut off by a wave of Tobias' hand and a full plate being placed in front of him as he sank down into a chair at the kitchen table.

"I've got time anyway." Tobias interrupted. "Just gotta give him a while to get this girl out of his system and when he realises it's going nowhere, I'll be waiting. And I'll get it right this time."

Gibbs smiled non-committally as he dug into the well prepared feast. If Tobias wasn't rushing ahead with this ridiculousness, he at least had a few weeks to get through to his friend. Maybe he could talk it over with...

"So you wanna tell me why there's an Ohio State varsity jacket in your laundry room?"

The question shot through Gibbs like a bullet, instantly pulling him from his thoughts. Before he could control it, a bright smile grew on his face. Truth be told, he'd been looking for the right time to tell his friend about this latest development in his life but he hadn't wanted to rub his happiness in the other man's face. Looked like delusional was going to be the best mood he'd get for it though.

"It's Tony's." was all he actually had to say. He knew Tobias would understand what wasn't said.

Pausing with a forkfull of food halfway to his mouth, Tobias grinned brightly back at him.

"Well it's about damn time! So, what's it like having the Italian Stallion around at home as well as work?"

Letting his mind wander, Gibbs thought back to just that morning. He'd woken to Tony's soft, full lips laving a trail down his chest to his already very interested morning erection. When the warm heat had enveloped him, he had arched his back in ecstasy, wondering how on earth he'd denied himself this pleasure for all those years.

Of course it wasn't just the sexual side of their relationship that caused Gibbs to smile. His mind also went to breakfast that morning.

Tony had made pancakes and they'd sat in comfortable silence while they ate, passing sections of the newspaper to each other without having to communicate. Even clearing the dishes had been done with a fluidity it took most married couples years to cultivate.

His best friend may be royally screwed right now but there was only one answer to the question he'd posed. Life at home with Tony was perfect.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen - Kicking My Heels

Summary:- Tobias considers making a big change after a devastating day and Gibbs finally gets angry.

They were three quarters of the way through the bottle of bourbon when Tony poked his head round the basement door.

"Hey guys, I'm heading up to bed now."

Tobias looked up at him from where he was slumped on the bottom step, a flash of guilt in his eyes.

"Shit, sorry Tony. I didn't realise it was so late. I'll call a cab."

Tony snorted and rolled his eyes.

"No. You'll stay and finish your conversation. Jethro's still sanding so I can tell you haven't got to the good stuff yet. I've fixed up the couch anyway."

Turning to his lover, he flashed him an understanding smile.

"I'll probably be asleep when you come up but feel free to wake me if you want."

With a final cheeky wink, he left the older men alone.

Shaking his head, Tobias stood to refill the mugs they were drinking from.

"You got a good one there, Jethro. Don't fuck it up!"

Realising that this was the opening he was waiting for, Gibbs stopped his task and turned to lean on his workbench, accepting the offered mug.

"So, you gonna tell me what's going on now? Cos I know all this isn't just about Diane. Sure you loved her, we both did in our own ways but you knew this was coming."

Sighing deeply, Tobias ran a hand over his face as he sank back down in his spot on the stairs.

"I had a visitor last night."

Just as it seemed Gibbs was going to have to prod something more from the man, he looked up, an expression of sheer despair in his eyes.

"He asked her to marry him. Wanted to tell me himself before I found out from somebody else."

Furrowing his brow as he met his friend's eye, sudden understanding hit Gibbs and his heart ached for what he knew he must be going through.

The timing sucked on top of Diane's new marriage, but it's not like Jimmy could've known about that. He hadn't exactly been forthcoming himself when the invitation had appeared at the office.

Of course he'd surprised the hell out of his own lover when he'd sent him an inter-office email, telling him what was in the envelope but he hadn't been at all surprised in return when Tony had played the part of nosey infant, knowing it was expected of him.

Partly, he expected Tony would've told Jimmy all about it, that was after all the kind of thing the two young men loved gossiping about, but evidently he was wrong. He knew Jimmy was certainly not the type to rub salt into an already bleeding wound, especially not where Tobias was concerned.

He was pulled out of his musings by Tobias' wavering voice.

"I've been offered a promotion."

Raising an eyebrow, Gibbs considered the statement.

"The next step up for you would be Assistant Director, right? That's great, Tobias! You were always so much better at that political crap than I was."

"It's in London, Jethro. Frank Jones is the AD there and word has it, he's gotten sick. Wants to come home. They offered me his place."

Swallowing down his bourbon, Gibbs refilled his mug and his friend's, trying to think for once before speaking.

"You won't take it, Tobias. You would never be happy so far away from the action. Not to mention Emily. You couldn't leave her."

Tobias' head hung dejectedly.

"Maybe not, Jethro. But right now I'm not so sure I can stay either."

Gibbs tried, he really did, but he couldn't hold back the outburst any longer. The smack round the back of the head took Tobias by surprise.

"Goddamn it, Tobias! You can't run away from your life, from your DAUGHTER just because Jimmy's moved on!"

"No! You Goddamn it, Jethro!" Tobias yelled back. "You have no idea how hard it is! You don't know what it's like to know that the person you love most in the world is so close but still so far away you can never reach them. It's killing me, Jethro! While I'm in Washington, they're gonna keep using me as the FBI's liaison to you guys and I'm always gonna be near him. Leaving would be hard, but staying..." his voice dropped off to a whisper. "Staying will kill me!"

Gritting his teeth to desperately keep his temper in check, Gibbs looked his friend dead in the eye.

"Give it a week, Tobias. For Emily's sake. One week to think about it before you do something you regret."

"Fine," Tobias sulked. "One week. But, Jethro... I'm not promising anything."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen - Ghosts of Lovers Past

Summary:- A late night conversation leads to so much more.

"Sooo..." Gibbs' voice was characteristically hesitant as he lazily drew circles on a bare patch of skin where Tony's tee didn't quite meet his sweatpants.

Silently raising an eyebrow at his lover's tone of voice, Tony put down the book he'd been reading and turned, resting on his elbow to look down at the older man who looked lost in thought.

"The other day at the diner," Gibbs continued. "I kinda had one of those 'life flashing before my eyes' moments. According to my subconscious, if I'd have spotted Ari on that rooftop, you and Cait would've eventually gotten married and had a family."

Tony's jaw nearly hit the comforter they were lying on. It took a moment for his thought process to work through what he'd just heard.

"Never would've happened, Jet." he finally answered. "Don't get me wrong, Cait was a beautiful lady, but it never would've worked."

Piercing blue eyes looked up at him, searching and finding the truth in Tony's expression. Before he could ask, Tony continued.

"We'd have never agreed on a lot of things. Especially being parents. She was a devout Catholic and I'd never allow my child to be forced into religion. Any religion. That's just one of the many things we'd never have agreed on."

Using his free hand, he softly cupped Gibbs' cheek.

"Besides, by the time Cait arrived on the scene, I was already far too in love with you to get involved with her.

Gibbs gently moved his face away and began fiddling with the hem of Tony's tee where his hand was resting.

"But you had that thing with Jimmy."

There was a note in his voice that Tony had never heard before. If he didn't know better, he'd think his lover was... insecure.

When the two men had finally pulled their heads out of their asses and gotten together, they had been honest about their previous love interests and Gibbs had to admit surprise that the two men had indulged in a one night stand. It had happened the night Michelle Lee had died. Jimmy had been understandably devastated and Tony had been so angry at the way Gibbs had left him out of the loop. Both men understood it was a one time thing and it hadn't affected their friendship at all.

"There a reason you're asking about Jimmy now? You know he's marrying Breena and you know I love you more than words can say."

Gibbs sighed.

"I know. But something else happened that day." he carried on in such a quiet voice, Tony almost had to strain to hear.

"He was in Abby's lab and she was massaging a muscle he pulled in his abs. Shirt was pulled up. Never understood the attraction before."

Tony stifled the laugh that was threatening to burst from his lips.

"You were checking him out! You were totally checking him out!" he teased.

"I wasn't..." Gibbs spluttered. "I mean, I just noticed... He's so much younger than me and he's in such good shape. I just... I wonder sometimes, that's all."

Tony smiled down at the top of the silver head.

"Jet," he soothed. "Yeah, Jimmy's young and smart and I wont insult him by saying the sex wasn't great. But that's all it was. Sex. I never felt a quarter for him that I do for you. I couldn't sit in silence with him in bed, reading a book. It wasn't comfortable like it is with us. There were no lazy mornings eating breakfast in the backyard. No Wednesday nights at the Y, teaching basketball to the young kids. No drives into work, stopping for coffee and getting ourselves sidetracked and ending up parking by the abandoned playground."

The memory of that particular morning had Gibbs lifting his eyes to meet Tony's, a smile gracing his lips.

"Well... we were early and if we get into work before 0700, Leon would only get suspicious."

Leaning down, Tony pressed his lips to his lover's, gently teasing out a moan as he pulled away.

Just as he was about to pick up his book again, he heard Gibbs ask a question that he knew instinctively there was no right answer for. But they'd promised each other honesty and that's what he'd give. Lost in his ruminations, he almost missed it when Gibbs repeated the question.

"You said the sex was great. Was he better than me?"

Scooting down the bed, he pulled Gibbs into his arms searching his face, wondering if he really wanted to know.

"Sex with Jimmy was... it was different. I won't say it was better and I won't say it was worse. It was just different. Sex with you isn't just sex. It's us. Totally and with all my heart. It's making love. Sex with Jimmy was...it was energetic and passionate and made my toes curl. But I can't compare the two. For one thing, I topped with Jimmy. It's a totally different dynamic."

Pulling Tony's body closer, Gibbs let out q growl. As their lips met and their limbs tangled, Tony was unsurprised to find that his lover was already hard. It wasn't a stretch to figure out why. He would never cheat on the older man, even if his life depended on it but sometimes he'd remember Jimmy naked and spread out before him like an all you can eat buffet and he'd be painfully hard in an instant.

"Tell me about it, Tony. I want you to tell me how you fucked him." Gibbs growled into his mouth.

Tony moaned deep in his throat as he thought back to the night he'd spent with his best friend. Before he could stop himself the words were spilling from his mouth.

*

Tony had known how devastated the death of Michelle had left Jimmy, no matter how brave a face he'd tried to put on it, so armed with pizza and DVDs, he made his way over to his small apartment. However as soon as Tony arrived, the plan of a simple movie night was thrown out the window.

The moment he'd walked through the door, Jimmy had pushed him up against the wall, big hazel eyes red rimmed and the taste of whiskey on his breath.

It had been enough for Tony to have to deal with the aftermath of his former probie's betrayal but for poor Jimmy to have to see his one time lover's lifeless body on an autopsy slab... Frankly Tony was surprised with all the years he had on the job, that Ducky hadn't already drank himself into an early grave.

Jimmy's lips were hard and demanding on his own.

"Make me forget, Tone." he whispered harshly. "Take me to bed and make me forget. Please."

It was the guttural plea that did it. In one swift move, Tony reversed their positions and pressed his body against the younger man's. Hooking his leg over Tony's hip, Jimmy pushed their straining erections together, making Tony whimper with need.

Lifting up the man's other leg, he carried him the short distance back to his bedroom, their lips never parting until Tony threw him on the bed. Hurrying out of his clothes, he grabbed Jimmy's hands as he tried to follow his lead.

"Don't!" he ordered. "I'm gonna take my time with you tonight. I'm gonna unwrap you, worship you and make sure the only thing you remember about this God-awful day, is the feeling of me. In you, around you, all over you."

Jimmy could only bite his lip and hold on for the ride as nimble fingers unbuttoned his shirt, soft but firm lips caressing every inch of skin as it was revealed.

As the two sides of the shirt fell away, Tony's tongue instantly found a pale brown nipple, licking around it in circles until it hardened under his ministrations. Once he'd achieved a pebbled nub on one side, he moved to the other, repeating the action until Jimmy was writhing beneath him in obvious ecstasy.

Peeling the rest of the material from the long limbs of Jimmy's arms, Tony licked, kissed and nibbled every freckle on the younger man's pale skin.

What felt like hours to Jimmy later, Tony's hands worked to pull his belt open and free it from his pants.

Looking down, hazel eyes widened in surprise as Tony used his teeth and lips to pop the button and pull down the zipper. Squeezing his eyes closed against the pleasure of the warmth ghosting over his pulsing cock, he tried to take a deep breath. Releasing it, it came out as a shuddering sigh.

Sensing how close the younger man was getting, Tony stopped what he was doing and moved back up his body, seizing his lips in a slow, sensuous kiss, calming the overheated body below him.

When Jimmy had regained control of his nerve endings, Tony continued his previous assault. Gently pulling the tight pants down, along with equally tight jockey shorts that were already stained with pre-come, he took a took a moment to breath in the musky yet sweet scent emanating from his leaking cock.

Motioning the young man onto his stomach, he reached into the bedside drawer and plucked up the small bottle of massage lotion he knew, after many late night, beer fuelled conversations, was kept there. Not waiting for it to warm up, he used one hand to grip the back of Jimmy's neck lightly to stop him from rearing up. With the other he let the vanilla scented liquid drip down the curvature of his spine. Slowly he began to rub the lotion into every inch of Jimmy's skin in motions meant to soothe and arouse. Working his way down slowly, he finally reached the curve of the younger man's muscular ass, long fingers kneading the soft flesh.

As he reached the toned thighs, he lowered his head to press open mouthed kisses to the slick flesh. Jimmy moaned as Tony parted his rounded globes and worked his agile mouth into the crease, his tongue flicking out to lightly caress his puckered hole.

As Tony stiffened his tongue to dart in and out of his ass in a sinfullyblissful way, Jimmy ground his once again leaking erection into the comforter beneath him. Floating on a cloud of bliss, he was almost unaware of Tony withdrawing his tongue just long enough to tell him it was time to let go.

No sooner were the words out of Tony's mouth, Jimmy was coming harder than he ever had in his life, every muscle in his body turning to goo.

Gently pulling the younger man over, onto his back, Tony once again kissed him senseless. Not that there was much left in him.

Distracting him with the kiss, he once again reached into the drawer and pulled out a condom. Rolling it down his sensitive cock, he took a moment to marvel at the fact that he hadn't come himself yet.

Tenderly maneuvering his friend's legs apart, he sank down between them and slowly pushed into the delicious warm heat. Jimmy was already stretched from his tongue and relaxed from his orgasm, so he simply moulded around him.

Savouring the feeling of the perfect, tight channel, Tony deepened the kiss a little before pulling out slightly and thrusting back in.

As he began to feel Jimmy harden between them, he knew her wouldn't last much longer so he wrapped his hand around Jimmy's pulsing cock and stroked in time to his thrusts. As they became more and more erratic, he finally let go of the day's events and his anger at Gibbs, letting the warmth and sensuality of his friend comfort him.

Moments later, both men came together and Tony sank down into a welcome embrace, sinking into oblivion before his body had even come to rest.

*

As Gibbs listened to the tale his lover told, his own erection had grown to almost steel-like hardness, his imagination supplying images of the two sexy, younger men in the throes of passion.

And exactly when had both he and Tony gotten naked? He wasn't sure but he knew he could feel skin against skin instead of the rustling of old, worn clothes. The warm and somehow slick hand that wrapped around his cock jolted him out of his thoughts.

"You wanna hear more or do you want me to ride your hard cock until you come, deep in my ass?"

A primitive growl ripped through Gibbs' chest as he pried his lips away from where they'd been subconsciously gnawing at Tony's exposed throat. Reaching over, he went to grab the lube that was ever present at the side of the bed but was surprised when Tony pushed him flat on his back.

"I prepped while I was telling you about fucking Jimmy. You were so into it, you didn't even notice. Horny bastard!" the brunette laughed.

Not giving his lover time to catch up to his words, Tony threw a leg over Gibbs' hips and impaled himself on his slicked cock, causing a reaction unlike any he'd known before. Gibbs' eyes rolled back in his head as a powerful orgasm surged through him.

Fully expecting now to have to get himself off, which granted wouldn't take much at all, Tony was stunned to realise Gibbs was still hard inside him.

In one fluid move, Gibbs came back to himself and rolled them over, pinning Tony to the bed, arms above his head and began to thrust hard. The only thing his addled mind could think of was removing the memory of Palmer from Tony's body. Every possessive cell of his DNA demanding that he stake his claim on the man beneath him.

Tony only had time to think that it was a good job they had the weekend off - no way was he walking straight tomorrow - before his own climax was overtaking him.

He came round minutes later and Gibbs was still thrusting into his now very sore ass. A new sting was throbbing on his neck and he knew he was being marked, a symbol of Gibbs' ownership.

With one final thrust, Gibbs roared out his name and released his second orgasm deep inside him, marking him from the inside too.

Opening his arms to catch his lover, Tony sighed contentedly not prepared to let the older man slip from his body for as long as he could help it.

He was just drifting off to sleep when a scratchy and slightly shy voice drifted up to him.

"Jimmy and Breena... Exactly how open is their relationship?"

Needless to say, Tony stayed awake for much longer than he ought to, wondering how Gibbs would be able to look Tobias in the eye when they had dinner the next day and exactly where he could take Jimmy to lunch on Monday...


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen - Full Circle

Summary:- Things come to an end and our boys come full circle.

The room had been silent for nearly twenty minutes and Ducky finally took the opportunity to look closely at his assistant. As certain as he was that he himself was far from a picture of radiant beauty, Jimmy looked infinitely worse.

His clothes were rumpled, there were bags under his eyes and his skin looked both flushed and pale at the same time. Neither man had said a word since Jimmy had returned to the room after a discussion with Breena that had taken place just beyond the window of the hospital room.

Ducky had heard the petite blonde's raised voice and the younger man's much calmer answers. Of course the elderly ME couldn't blame the new Mrs Palmer for being put out, what with the groom spending the majority of their wedding day caring for his ailing employer.

That was when the realisation had hit him. Of course! If he hadn't been so mentally and physically exhausted, he would've smacked his own head for being so blind!

"I'm so sorry, Jimmy." he croaked out.

Jimmy, startled out of his own thoughts by the unexpected words, creased his brow in confusion.

"For what, Dr Mallard?"

"I'm afraid I have been so involved in my concern for the other members of our little family and by my own ill health that I neglected to realise that you must have again put the needs of all others before your own and rescheduled your nuptials. I am not at all surprised that Breena is understandably miffed at the situation."

Slumping down further into his chair, Jimmy ran a hand through his curls.

"We didn't postpone the wedding." he finally whispered. "You see, the thing is, Dr Mallard... If we had gone through with the service today, it would've been the biggest mistake of our lives. I guess finding you on the beach may well have saved both of our lives."

At his mentor's questioning gaze he continued.

"I suppose in a lot of ways, I was an ideal to Breena. My job was exciting for her to hear about, but she never truly appreciated the inconvenience that my not working regular hours caused. She was always trying to change me in some small way or other. Worse than that, because of the guilt I felt... I let her."

"Guilt over what?" Ducky interrupted. "I have never seen you treat the girl with anything other than the utmost respect. At times I would even go so far as to say that you treated her like a princess."

"That's just it, Doctor. Every minute of our relationship, I felt like I had to overcompensate for how I truly felt. The fact is... I'm in love with someone else."

"Our esteemed FBI colleague." Ducky intoned gently. It was after all no surprise to the older man. Some of the signs, in fact, had always been quite obvious. Theirs was a love that had never had closure.

"She asked when we were outside just now and I found I couldn't lie to either of us any longer. I could've lost the most important people in my life today. Do you know, when I recieved news of the bombing, after hoping to hear that the team were all okay, my second thought wasn't about the wedding or Breena,but that I hoped Toby hadn't been at the yard. I called him before I called my fiancee."

"Oh, Jimmy." Ducky sighed. "What are you going to do now?"

Taking a deep breath, the younger man straightened up, a look of determination on his face.

"I'm going to wait until Gerald arrives -which should be less than an hour from now, he set off from New York as soon as I called him - then I'm going to head over to the yard to see what needs to be done and make sure they have adequate cover. When this mess of a day is over, I'm going to find Toby and pray to God that he will forgive me."

Looking at the conviction on his young protege's face, Ducky felt his heart lift a little. Still he felt he had to ask;

"Are you sure you should be doing that tonight? Today was supposed to be your wedding day, after all. Maybe you should sleep on it a while before you jump into anything rash."

Jimmy, to his credit, took a moment to mull over the advice.

"Honestly? I don't think I can wait any longer. It's been five years too long as it is."

*

Tobias slumped down onto his all too comfortable couch, glass of Macallan 18 in his hand which he fully intended to savour. The day had been one disaster after another and his emotions were tumbling through him like an approaching thunderstorm.

It had been threatening to be a bad one from the beginning anyway. That morning, he'd woken up with the intention of starting the day with a glass of his favourite malt and continuing his way through the bottle steadily. Anything to forget the invitation in the drawer in the desk of his study which he couldn't quite bring himself to throw away.

Unfortunately, before he could start the day the way he intended, a phone call from Jethro had done that job and he hadn't been off his feet since.

He'd had two momentary respites, both through the medium of telephone calls. The latter was twenty minutes talking to Emily as she was preparing for bed, his 13 year old daughter able to lift his spirits like nothing ever came close to.

The former however, was the one he kept replaying although it had lasted less than a minute. A short time after the explosion that had shaken the Navy Yard to it's core, he'd been surprised by Jimmy's name appearing on his caller ID. He still wasn't sure what the call had been about other than to confirm his own safety. But why his ex-lover would consider that was beyond him. Especially today. His wedding day.

The exhausted man shook his head to clear his thoughts and raised the glass to his lips just as his doorbell rang.

Wearily he wondered who on Earth could be calling at this time of night. Every muscle ached as he made his way to the door but when he opened it, strangely, he felt nothing. Standing on his doorstep, Jimmy was holding a new bottle of Macallan in one hand and ohhh... that was a sausage and black olive pizza. His favourite. It took a while for his brain to click back into action and when it did, he could only utter one word.

"Why?"

Jimmy blushed a little as he looked down at his shoes.

"Can I come in? I need to talk to you."

Nodding mutely, Tobias stepped aside and let the younger man in, not moving again until Jimmy had reached the couch and raised an eyebrow in amusement. Closing the door, he grabbed a tumbler from the wet bar before sitting himself down, careful to keep as much space between them as he could.

"Why are you here, Jimmy?" he finally asked but still unable to look at the other man. "Shouldn't you be halfway to Cabo or wherever your honeymoon is?"

Instead of answering, Jimmy opened the whiskey bottle and filled his own glass before nudging Tobias' closer to him. Eventually he spoke.

"I didn't get married."

It shouldn't be possible for four small words to turn one man's life upside down. Those words should fill him with sorrow for his friend and not the sheer unadulterated joy that flowed through his veins, making him feel more awake than he had any right to. Risking a look up, he was surprised to find his ex looking at him with a small smile.

"Feel free to tell me if I'm wrong, but you don't seem too upset about that."

"I realised something... on the beach... when I found Dr Mallard." Jimmy started hesitantly. "With everything that's happened the past couple of days, I could've lost the closest thing I had to family. And when I first got the call... sure, in the back of my mind, I thought I had to call Breena... postpone the wedding or something. But instead of calling her, the first person I called was you. It dawned on me that I never even changed you from being number one on my speed dial and I've had a few cellphones since then. It may have been five years, but..." his voice tapered off to a whisper as Tobias barely breathed while listening to the impassioned speech.

"I still love you, Toby. I can't stop and to be honest... I don't think I want to. And I know... I know I have no right even asking but..."

Whatever question he was about to ask was knocked out of him along with his breath as Tobias surged forward and kissed him.

Suddenly the words the older man had used on that special night many years ago, the night he'd thought Tobias was dead and they would never have a chance, the first night they were together, came crashing back to him.

"You mean home, Jimmy"

For the first time, he knew exactly what those words meant. It was as though the one piece of him that had been missing for so many years, finally slid back into place. Jimmy was home and Tobias was right there with him.


End file.
